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I am restless tonight and I'm not sure why. Now, it is December 31, 2010

Now that I have typed out December 31, 2010 and said it out loud, this may be the root of my current angst. I am a 21 year young girl, sometimes I must remind myself and others of that fact.
Recently, I've been trying to pay close attention to interactions of people in places as things.
I enjoy the company of friends and strangers. I enjoy music and literature. And due to an unfortunate romance, I enjoy leisured love potentials. Without the promise of potential of course. Ha.

I miss looking at that face.
There was a moment at sunset
We drove along the Sacramento delta and sang to the music that soon fed emotions so strong,
There was a moment at sunset, I looked to my right and thought to myself, how is this even possible.
Several weeks later, my anticipation to look to my right grew so irresistible
My eyes would grow wide. My face formulated childish smiles and my heart raced to seemingly endless steps to forever anywhere.
I had hands that knew how to find you, how to heal you. How to relieve yours and mine. I had hands that knew. I had ears that would mourn and rejoice in synchronization of the fighting tide.
My eyes were always in constant awareness. The vibrancy of every waking vision was too stupendous to miss the mistress. As for the senses of scent as well as taste, I learned the lesson of temptation, that of forbidden fruits.

Moon light guides my wants to a dead end of manipulated needs.
Memories that interrupt daily motivation should be evaluated and marked non priority.
Right?
Communication is key. Don't be angry.

sinks in me

I had a dream about him again last night.

Every so often I dream of a man dressed in black that lives on a hill on the highest point of his life. There, we ran into each other once, without any words exchanged the longing eyes of chance that brought tears to both of our eyes. We fell in love. Without any words exchanged, we simply grace each other and close our eyes at the exactly the same time and I wake.

Last night I had a dream about him again.

We met again at the highest hill top of his life and instead of pacing back and forth against one another, we stood still in endless concentration. The married man took his hands and stretched them across my face. Each finger scribbled words across my chest. I would have liked to have screamed, but noise wasn't in my favor. What felt to have taken an eternity, was maybe about an hour of REM sleep.

I just want to see the sun. And wrap my arms around you. I want to feel fine and love the words that surround you. Why does that want make no complication.